Like Daughter - 15

I'm pretty much an insomniac at the moment. It's 5:17am right now and I'm awake. I fell asleep around 12:30am and woke up at 2:30, but fell asleep again around maybe 3:30am and now I am awake. I will probably go back to sleep as soon as I finish writing this, but I feel slightly alert. I'm also telling you all this just in case this entry seems a little off.

This is probably one of those days where I really do not know what I want to say. A lot of things are happening around me at once; not just this cancer shindig, but many other personal things, too. I have had so many ups and downs with friends and others over the course of the last month or so that my head is still spinning. Change happens every time we look another direction. Each time I feel like this, I like listening to Avril Lavigne's song "Mobile." Go take a listen. It has been so true about everything that has been happening in my life. Many people I know can relate to all of this, and can relate to constant change. Coming to terms with change, though, is a very different matter.

In an earlier post my mother made, she mentioned that she was joking with her sister, my Aunt Rea when she accompanied her to get her ultrasound. She said that this was her cancer and she didn't want to share it. I know it was a joke, but sometimes I thought that myself. Especially when Mom was diagnosed. I didn't want anyone else to have this. I wanted it to just be mine, my cancer, my ordeal. In reality, though, folks, this was not just my battle. Everyone who chose and has chosen to be with me and suffer with me -- this was their fight, too. They were fighting with me. They were giving little pieces of themselves to me when I was running out. At times I still need these pieces in order to feel whole again, feel normal.

Time for me to pass those pieces on to my Mom. I don't need them right now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Like Mother - 53

Cancer has struck  our family again…in a big way.   One week after the burial of my mother on February 23, 2016 for non-cancer related issues, my brother-in-law, Richard, was diagnosed with AML (Acute Myeloid Leukemia).   Since March 6 th , he had been an inpatient at University of Maryland Hospital.   As our family typically does, we all came together to support my sister, Anna Marie.   We made daily trips to the hospital.   Most of the time we were full of hope, but eventually we felt more like wounded soldiers marching into a losing battle.   Richard suffered one unfortunate circumstance after another with both happy and sad outcomes.   The happy outcome is that the first round of chemo was successful in eradicating his leukemia cells.   The sad news is that all too often the same drugs that cure you can also, indirectly, kill you.   As a result of Richard’s extremely depleted blood cells and extremely compromised immune system f...
Read more

Like Daughter - 54

Honestly, I don't even know what to say.  As you probably read in my mother's post from yesterday, my uncle Richard passed away yesterday morning from complications post-treatment for AML.  My mother said pretty much everything there was to say, but I think there's a little more. Uncle Richard, I have one more story for you. Uncle Richard was a funny man. He was downright weird at times, but the best kind of weird there is. He was never seen without a smile. Uncle Richard had this way about him - even in his lovely tennis shorts in December (mind you, we're in Baltimore) - to brighten the room around him.  I'll never forget the smell of his pipe (I hate smoking, but his pipe always smelled so good), the smile on his face, and the songs he used to sing, again in those tennis shorts. He would just break out into song. When us cousins were kids, we were always captivated by his humor. The one song that immediately comes to mind is, "The Littlest Worm....
Read more

Special Entry: Good Housekeeping Article Response

If you are an avid member of the thyroid disease/cancer community, then you most likely already know the controversy and outrage that surrounds this article, written by Susan Carlton and published by Good Housekeeping. If not, this article and all comments and concerns about it still apply to you. Why? It’s as simple as this: knowledge is power. Knowledge of the diseases and cancers that are out there, and knowledge about what information is accurate, and what information is dangerous. Below is my take on certain portions of the article. Admittedly, I am no expert. Some of the information that Ms. Carlton presents is without documented sources. Therefore, I can neither credit nor discredit her claims. However, since I currently (some formerly) endure four different types of thyroid diseases, I am able to use my 5 years of acquired experience and knowledge to refute several points made by Ms. Carlton and Good Housekeeping. Questions, comments, complaints, and commendations are not only...
Read more