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Apr
25
Cancer has struck our family again…in a big way. One week after the burial of my mother on
February 23, 2016 for non-cancer related issues, my brother-in-law, Richard,
was diagnosed with AML (Acute Myeloid Leukemia). Since March 6th, he had been an
inpatient at University of Maryland Hospital.
As our family typically does, we all came together to support my
sister, Anna Marie. We made daily trips
to the hospital. Most of the time we
were full of hope, but eventually we felt more like wounded soldiers marching
into a losing battle. Richard suffered
one unfortunate circumstance after another with both happy and sad
outcomes. The happy outcome is that the
first round of chemo was successful in eradicating his leukemia cells. The sad news is that all too often the same
drugs that cure you can also, indirectly, kill you. As a result of Richard’s extremely depleted
blood cells and extremely compromised immune system from the chemo treatment, he developed an
overwhelming and rare fungal infection…an infection that grew bigger than his
recovering immune system and antifungal drugs could
handle. Throughout it all, Richard NEVER complained. Not once. Not ever. He said “Please” and “Thank You” to every nurse, doctor, visitor, and caregiver, right up until the end. He never lost his sense of humor and strong spirit…ever. Even though he developed mastoid ear, and Bell’s Palsy with facial paralysis, and a blood clot, and atrial fibrillation, and the inability to eat for at least six weeks with subsequent insertion of a feeding tube, and multiple transfusions and transfers from Oncology to ICU, CCU, and Intermediate Care (you get the point), he faced every obstacle with hope and dignity and kindness. It was a privilege to be with him and try to help ease his struggles in some small way.
In the beginning, before the infection took hold, Richard
would always say “Tell me a story…I love stories.” He recalled that as a child he could easily
fall asleep to the sound of his mother’s voice on the phone gabbing with her
sisters. So we told him stories about
anything and everything…the smallest happenings in our day. And Richard delighted in them. We continued to tell him stories even when
the fungal infection wrapped itself around his brain and he closed his eyes and
remained in a slumber-like state. And we
talked to each other in the background, and every now and then Richard would
grunt, nod, or shake his head, so we knew he was listening.
In Richard’s healthier life, he was in the roofing business. Customer service was his specialty. You weren’t just a customer, you were a
friend, and he would do anything for a friend.
He made you laugh and once you met him you never forgot him.
Richard loved to make the family smile with his corny jokes
and silly songs. We sang a round of “The
Littlest Worm” in his last hours, led by his stepdaughter Melissa. I know Richard enjoyed it.
Richard referred to his wife, my sister Gracie, and me, as
the Lee Sisters. It is a nickname that
we are proud to own (I won’t go into detail).
Anyway, the Lee Sisters as a threesome, or some combination thereof,
followed Richard throughout his journey in the hospital. Gracie and me were with Anna Marie when she met Richard for the first time (and there’s a story there too).
We loved him from the start. The
Lee Sisters are an amazing team.
Together we are stronger. Gracie
and Anna Marie, I love you.
Richard wasn’t much for fashion. He rather had a style of his own, mostly
tennis shorts. However, he made quite a
statement on his own and didn’t need fashion to enhance his generous and uplifting
personality. He never said goodbye,
rather “Toodle-Loo”.
I know that Richard is in a better place mostly because he
made the world a better place for so many others. I picture him whacking a few tennis balls,
enjoying all-you-can-eat buffets, eating lots of cake icing, telling corny jokes, smoking his pipe, going for long walks with all of the little doggies and giving them forbidden treats, singing silly songs, and waiting on everyone
in Heaven.
In closing, I have one more story for you Richard…
Once upon a time there once was a man named Richard Smith who lived an
incredible life. He touched many
hearts, and did so much for so many. He
always thought of others first and always minded his manners. He was loyal and trustworthy and kind. He was surrounded by family and friends who
loved him dearly and always will. When
faced with the toughest challenge of all, he did so with dignity and courage
beyond measure. He is truly our hero. He was lucky to be loved by a beautiful woman
named Anna Marie, who sat tirelessly by his side, fluffing his pillows, wiping
his brow, and holding his hand, right up until the end.
The world is a better place because of Richard Smith and he
will be missed immensely. In the words
of his favorite song…”He was my pal. He
was my friend. But now he’s gone. And that’s the end”. Toodle-Loo Richard Smith. We love you.
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